So today I am going to be brutally honest about something I have been sitting on for quit some time...I am not excited about graduation. Not one little bit. Scared to death would actually be a more accurate depiction of my emotions.
I think my nervousness started when I got back from my London trip back in December because that's when it hit me that I had one more semester at UK. I believe that this shock happens to a lot of us, you think you have all this time and then one day you wake up and graduation is in 64 days; and mine actually is! In addition to this impending countdown, I'm unsure about applying to grad school, I'm working to get my portfolio together, my parents call me daily wanting updates on my progress, or lack there of....I AM GOING CRAZY.
I just feel like there is so much to be done and I don't know about you, but I shut down when I feel paralyzed both emotionally and spiritually. Don't get me wrong though, I work insanely well under pressure, so I know that by May 10th you'll never know that I was struggling with this major milestone, but right now....everything is fuzzy. Everything except for this fact: I know I'll be okay.
This hope is usually silent these days, but I know that one day I will have the job of my dreams and that all of this "in between" will just be memories of a journey I took. But until I get to a level of comfort, I'm just going to employ the age old tool of faking it till I make it.
These confessions are a lot to digest, but I do know that I have to be proactive even in the midst of my uneasiness. So since I am 8 days away from my final spring break, I plan on using this time to dive head first into applying for jobs.....wish me luck :] I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted!
P.S-Today marks the first full week of bloging on Gorgeous Chaos so thanks to all of you who have been checking out the site and my posts! I appreciate every single one of you!